by Jon Bridges

I mentioned Glenn Jones a few weeks ago - the NZ t-shirt designer who is rocking the world of huge American t-shirt design community Threadless.com. Think of him as our T-shirt Designer Laureate. He was the second most successful designer on Threadless, but with the release of his latest design he is now equal first.And he's just announced that he is selling limited edition prints of his designs on paper for you to hang on the wall. Glenn says the paper is the best available art paper (50% cotton!) Some people might say why not just frame a t-shirt? They are also 50% cotton - and it's a lot cheaper. But I say no! Go to Glenn's website and buy a print, you cheapskate.

Normally arts and money don't really have the best relationship. As I write there are thousands of artists in New Zealand carrying on without any real money, and most money goes about its business with scant regard for art of any kind. That's why it was wonderful to find that in the heart of the budget, right in money's inner sanctum, art had sneaked in and found a little possie. As part of the budget announcement, the passionate Judith Tizard announced the New Zealand Poet Laureate Award. It takes over from the Te Mata Poet Laureate scheme which has run for several years, and awards $50,000 each year to a Poet Laureate. It's the first government-funded poetry award, and it's about time. As part of the whole thing, which is funded by the National Library, the poet's working papers and published work will be preserved in the National Digital Heritage Archive and at the Alexander Turnbull, which is cool, but I'm hoping that along with the many kudos and the cash, we might burden the Poet Laureate with some responsibilities. He or she should be encouraged (no, required) to publish poems occasioned by events in public life. English Poets Laureate of the past (including Robert Bridges - no relation) have had the responsibility of writing poetry toadying up to public figures and royalty etc. A modern version of this should see the Laureate writing poetry that comments in any way the poet sees fit. He or she could write poems on occasions like Waitangi Day, Christmas, or commenting on current affairs, celebrating sports or artistic achievements of others, taking the piss out of Dancing With The Stars.... whatever! It might be possible to forge a partnership with a publication like the Listener, or a Sunday paper or TBI, which would publish these poems. The benefit of this is that it breathes currency and life into poetry, making it interact vitally with the rest of the popular culture. The Poet Laureate is then an ambassador for the art and a voice of the people instead of just the recipient of a grant.

There has been a lot of talk saying we should follow the Australian example and introduce legislation to protect people from telemarketers. One of the little birds making peeps about this is the Marketing Association of New Zealand who already run a name removal service. It's not compulsory for telemarketers to follow this, and the list is only consulted by telemarketers who are members of the association, but it has to be a good place to start for people who want to cook dinner/watch the news/play X-box/write their TBI column unhindered by people with the amazing ability not to take a breath for four minutes. I put my name on it and it seems to work: I haven't had a call since. (I should note I only signed on a few minutes ago, but still - it's working so far). On the page explaining the name removal service the Marketing Association ask the very pertinent question "Why do I need to be on a list to get off lists?", which raises a sort of paranoia that now I'm going to get calls saying "if you enjoyed the name removal list, why not sign up to keep your name off some of these other lists?"

This is it for my stint as columnist on TBI. I want to leave you with a website my cousin put me onto. If you love good writing and funny writing, you can get both at McSweeney's Internet Tendency. The latest of John Moe's pop-song correspondences is a good place to start. Thank you. Goodnight.

Image: GE Salmon by Glenn Jones. 23/5/07 Jon is busy writing scripts for TV3's new kids' quiz programme The Simon Eliot Show, as well as his tri-weekly Listener column. He is also producing a series of at-time-of-writing-secret TV spots for C4 and trying to turn some great-ideas-for-books into some actual books.