Though many of us have nothing but bad memories of the Lycra-clad '80s, the Real Hot Bitches embrace the era with an enthusiasm bordering on obsession. Founded in August 2005 by 'Bitch-Mistress' Angela Meyer and 'Dance-Bitch' Rosie Roberts, the "equal opportunity dance troupe" are following up their 2006 sell-out season at BATS Theatre with another bitchin' dance show as part of the Dance Your Socks Off Festival. Candy la Coque reveals just what it takes to be a Real Hot Bitch...Though many of us have nothing but bad memories of the Lycra-clad '80s, the Real Hot Bitches embrace the era with an enthusiasm bordering on obsession. Founded in August 2005 by 'Bitch-Mistress' Angela Meyer and 'Dance-Bitch' Rosie Roberts, the "equal opportunity dance troupe" are following up their 2006 sell-out season at BATS Theatre with another bitchin' dance show as part of the Dance Your Socks Off Festival. Candy la Coque reveals just what it takes to be a Real Hot Bitch...During what hours of the day do you feel most inspired?
First thing in the morning. I often wake up just before dawn, slip into my leotard and greet the day with a bitchin' high kick.

How would a good friend describe your aesthetic or style?
Solid Gold dancer meets a bogan from Palmy meets international superstar.

What aspect of being a Real Hot Bitch gives you the biggest thrill?
Incredible as it may seem, I have not been blessed with great body memory, so nailing a routine is frankly thrilling.

How would you describe the Real Hot Bitches to someone who has never seen them?
Someone once described our dancing us as "the closet thing we have on earth to God's footsteps". Admittedly that is a big call but I'm going to run with it.

What is the concept behind the new Real Hot Bitches show, Around the World in '80s Outfits - An International Dance Odyssey?
In the heady years of the 1980s, international air travel was within reach of the average person, it was a time when the height of masculinity meant wearing make-up and sporting long, teased locks, and when pop groups were keen to show off their geographical knowledge by releasing songs like "Africa", "West End Girls" and "Great Southern Land". They wanted to define where they came from, e.g. "Born in the USA", and assert what they wanted with hits like "First We Take Manhattan, Then We Take Berlin" and "Club Tropicana". Ultimately though, all everyone wanted was "One Night in Bangkok" and a whole lot more "French Kissing in the USA" - You get the picture.

What's been the biggest challenge putting the show together?
With 27 dancers on stage, each with at least seven costume changes, getting enough bitchin' mirror time backstage at BATS is one hell of a challenge!

What attributes does someone need to become a Real Hot Bitch?
All you have to be is real, hot and bitchin' (in that phat, non gender specific sense of the word) and have a profound love of Lycra.

How do you think your environment affects your work?
Weather it be dancing in the streets, dancing on a table or dancing in my living room at home, I try to bring a real hot bitchin' attitude to every move I make.

Do you like to look at the big picture or focus on the details?
Any Real Hot Bitch worth their salt is all about the big picture. When you blow Candy's paparazzi shots to A0 size people can really focus on the details.

Who or what inspired you recently?
Flesh-coloured tights. I have just bought my first pair, which are exactly like the ones the ladies on Aerobics OZ Style uses to wear. Boy have they taken my bitchin' to a whole new level!

What's your number one dance tip?
When I can't remember the moves I always fall back on my mantra: tits and teeth. Tits and teeth, and what you lack in technique you make up for with passion.

What project to date has given you the most satisfaction?
Standing on the balcony of the Establishment Bar, flanked by firefighters, looking out at 2,600 people all busting the moves to Bon Jovi's "Shot through the Heart". [The Real Hot Bitches broke the world record for the most people performing a synchronised dance routine during the 2007 Cuba Street Carnival in Wellington.]

What place is with you, wherever you go?
Paradise City.

What is the best way to listen to music and why?
Loud! I like nothing better than listen to Alice Cooper's "Poison" at full blast. It's powerful stuff.

You are given a piece of string, a stick and some fabric. What do you make?
I would make one of those ribbons on a stick that gymnasts use. I was once in a show where we had Solid Gold dancers waving those around. I seem to remember one of the gents wearing a gold g-string -

What's the best stress relief advice you've ever been given?
Have sex.

What's your favourite word?
Bitchin'!

4/9/07

Interview by Cass Hesom-Williams

Image: Candy la Coque, © Shin Takahashi.