For a decade journalist Steve Braunias has captivated, amused and enraged readers of first the Listener and then The Sunday Star-Times. His latest book, Fish of the Week: Selected Columns, features his personal selection of columns from the past two years.

Braunias on writing his column: 'In ordinary circumstances, I am a mild, inoffensive fellow who has no opinions about anything. The column persuades me to engage. It strongly suggests I take an interest in a range of subjects. It twists my arm and demands that I satirise some of New Zealand's leading buffoons. It has no conscience; if it breaks something, like defamation law, I am left to pick up the pieces, and accept a sound thrashing from employers - 'For a decade journalist Steve Braunias has captivated, amused and enraged readers of first the Listener and then The Sunday Star-Times. His latest book, Fish of the Week: Selected Columns, features his personal selection of columns from the past two years.

Braunias on writing his column: 'In ordinary circumstances, I am a mild, inoffensive fellow who has no opinions about anything. The column persuades me to engage. It strongly suggests I take an interest in a range of subjects. It twists my arm and demands that I satirise some of New Zealand's leading buffoons. It has no conscience; if it breaks something, like defamation law, I am left to pick up the pieces, and accept a sound thrashing from employers - 'On cooking steak:

'The gas barbecue is a symbol of moral rot, possibly.'

On antenatal class:

'Fourteen men on a Saturday in summer were told to wear a pair of fake breasts and advised how to place a doll to the nipple.'

On the Clint Rickards' trial:

'I don't know if I've ever read such unbalanced journalism.'

On his desire for a free winter coat:

'Men's outfitters Keith Matheson might want to consider the benefits of clothing a notorious criminal and prominent journalist, who is often seen in bars and restaurants - and usually consents to being photographed for the society pages.'

On a stoush with the Beef and Lamb Marketing Bureau:

'I tell my girlfriend. She is an astute woman who usually occupies the moral high ground, due to my continued absence from that enviable view. 'You're a greedy little pig,' she announces, 'who got his snout smacked.'

On playing Don Brash to Laila Harre's Helen Clark in a media training exercise:

'I was filled with the white heat of Brash's intellect. It scorched Harre to a mumbling heap - actually, perhaps this was meant as an accurate portrayal of the prime minister, who seems so worn-out these days.'

It is worth buying this book just to read about Braunias's 'engagement' with two people - Victor, a Ghanaian spammer, and Trade Me's Sam Morgan - not to mention the searing saga of Paul Gauguin's teeth. But there is much more. And the stunning painting on the cover, 'Man Drinking Milk', is by Dick Frizzell.

Steve Braunias is a writer, columnist and winner of numerous national journalism awards. His weekly column appears in The Sunday Star-Times' Sunday magazine. His book How to Watch a Bird was selected as one of the best books of 2007 by North & South, The Dominion Post and the Listener. His first book of selected columns, Fool's Paradise, won Best First Book of Non-Fiction at the 2002 Montana Book Awards. He has been editor of Capital Times, feature writer at Metro, deputy editor at the Listener, and senior writer with The Sunday Star-Times. He is a contributing writer to TV One's Eating Media Lunch and The Unauthorised History of New Zealand.

Earlier this year he released Roosters I Have Known, a survey of the national psyche which ranged from the all-out brainy (neuroscientist Richard Faull) to the disturbingly naïve (rape survivor Louise Nicholas), from the vainglorious (Shortland Street actor Adam Rickitt) to the gloriously vain (TV1 Breakfast host Paul Henry), from the food writer in her home (Cuisine's Julie Dalzell) to the war correspondent in someone else's (Fox Television's Anita McNaught 'embedded' in Iraq).

Fish of the Week is available online at www.awapress.com and from all good bookstores. RRP $30.

04/09/08